There are myriads of different ridiculous laws in America, but these take the cake. One can only seriously hope that some of these are typos or a simple oversight. This is because these are the most unbelievable sex-related laws that anyone has ever seen.
Hopefully some of these laws are falsely published or will soon be wiped from the law books. From sex with Satan, to sex toy limitations, these sex laws are simply unbelievable.
1. Plan A Different Wedding
Apparently people in Illinois like to go hunting and fishing on their wedding days. However, the next time you are hunting or fishing on your wedding day in Illinois, avoid having sex.
Apparently is it illegal to indulge in sex on your wedding day while enjoying a hunting or fishing trip in this backwoods state.
2. Oh, Ohio You Have Done It Again
In Ohio, it is illegal to strip in front of a man’s picture. If he’s the real thing, then go for it.
But don’t even think about stripping down in front of a photograph or picture of your man or else you’ll end up behind bars.
3. Rethink Having Sex In The Family Car
Having sex in a vehicle is always on the top of people’s sex to do lists. Seriously, nothing is hotter than stopping to do the deed spontaneously in the back seat.
However, some states strictly prohibit having sex in a vehicle. But none are wackier than an Arizona law. In Arizona, sex in a car is a serious offense, but even worse in the backseat.
Offenders being caught doing the deed in the backseat of the family car are subject to having their fines doubled. Therefore, if you are ever in Arizona and you want to get it on in a car, be sure to hijack the driver’s seat instead.
4. Don’t Bother Buying Patio Furniture For The Front Lawn
No state tolerates public indecency, but the rules are a bit more complicated in Montana. In this Midwestern state, it is illegal to participate in any sexual behavior in the dark on your front lawn.
However, you can get it on in your backyard. Even so, one would imagine that those who created the law intended for all sex acts to be prohibited outside, whether it is in the back or front yard. Well, at least that is what any right-minded person would assume.
5. No Sleeping Beauty For You, Sir
It should be a good thing that Colorado does not allow anyone to have sex with a sleeping person. Think about it. When would it ever be acceptable to have sex with someone who is sleeping? Apparently in Colorado, they’ve got it covered.
6. Infidelity Truly Is A Crime
In Arkansas, it is illegal to cheat on your partner. Now that is a law that makes some sense, and apparently it works. Now, the fine is only $100 right now, so it is not too hefty of a price to pay if you really want to see what else is out there, though.
7. Corsets Are The Devil, But Not For The Reasons You May Think
Now, it is quite awkward for a state legislature to attempt to control clothing. Let’s all just pause and think for a moment what article of clothing we would ban if we had the power to do so. Okay, done? Well, according to Missouri, women should eliminate all types of corsets from their wardrobes.
The best part is why the corsets are shunned in the first place. According to Missouri lawmakers, no man should be denied to admire the curvy, voluptuous frame of a woman. It’s true. Apparently Missourians are not out of the dark ages just yet.
8. Put Those Vibrators Back On The Shelf, Ma’am
As if not fooling around in a backseat was not enough for Arizona lawmakers, they went ahead and attempted to ruin even more fun with this law.
According to Arizona state law, no one shall own more than six sex toys. Half a dozen is apparently, the limit for anyone to own in Arizona.
9. Forever Virgins
Now, this law is quite the paradox. Washington state legislation has stated that it is illegal to have sex with a virgin. So, how exactly are virgins supposed to become non-virgins?
We are not sure, either. Cross state borders for the first time, we suppose. But wait, this law gets even weirder.
This law even applies to married couples.
It’s true. You are not supposed to have sex with a virgin, even on your own wedding night. So heads up, everyone. Do not plan your honeymoon to be in Washington state. Not that there is much interesting there, anyway.
10. No Women Are Seeing Tens In Tennessee
Tennessee must be a little outdated with their gender equality. This is because according to many sources there is a law that states it is illegal for a woman to ask a man out on a date. It’s true. Apparently only men can make the moves in Tennessee.
Laws That Are Not Real, But Many Believe Them to Be
- Sex With the Devil
California experienced a serious occult issue in the 1980’s,so hopefully that is why this law exists in the sunny state. According to California law, this law never existed. However, if you ask many people, then they believe it to be a real law.
If it is real, then no one in California can have unprotected sex with Satan. That’s right. If you want to screw the devil himself, then be sure to bring protection when you leave the state.
- Packing Your Meat in the Freezer
Wyoming state officials claim that there is no legitimacy to this law. But, no one can prove that for a fact, like the California law. Perhaps this law did, at one point in time, arise from a particular incident.
The law forbids anyone from having sex in a walk in freezer in Wyoming. Sure, a meat locker is not the first sexy spot you think of when you want to have sex.
But, if you are two grocery store workers wanting to get in a little hanky panky, then the meat freezer may be your best bet. Just make sure you are not in Wyoming, though.
- All Debts About This Law are Off
Similarly to the last law, this law probably had to be instated after someone lost their sense of decency and attempted this. In Alabama, no one can offer sexual favors in return for their billiard debt.
Now, notice that it is particularly for billiard debts. So, if you have racing debts, gambling debts, or credit card debts, then perhaps your sexual favors are a-okay. Just skip the pool table.
- Get Ready, Aim, but Don’t Fire
For some reason, people in Wisconsin must be looking to shoot a gun while having sex. Why in the world would we think this is true? Well, judging by this law, it must have some relevance.
The law states that no one can shoot a gun while a woman is experiencing an orgasm. The best part is that the county clerk claims that this law is false. However, they did admit that they receive at least one call per year dealing with this issue.
- Well, As Long As It is Little, Then It is Okay
We never condone bestiality in any form, but apparently Washington State has some exceptions. This law was at one point in time a real thing. Reportedly, a man attempted to have anal penetration from a horse and died. Therefore, the law was created.
In Washington State, the law prohibited sex with an animal…so long as they weighed more than 40 pounds. Hide your dogs and cats, people. Apparently bestiality of certain sorts is acceptable in Washington State.
- Honk Three Times and Then Slowly Walk Towards the Car
While this law is nothing but a myth originating from Indiana, it is still funny to think about.
The myth is that if any police officer suspects a couple of getting it on inside of a car, then they cannot approach the car until they have following the necessary precautions.
What are these precautions, you ask? Well, honking three times and waiting two minutes, of course. What else would a police officer do? Once can only wonder why someone was so descriptive about the legality here.
- Virginia is Apparently Not for Lovers
The state certainly does not live up to the motto associated with Virginia. There are quite a few sex positions that are illegal in Virginia. No one can verify these to be true, and thank goodness they are not because sex for Virginians would be seriously limited.
The myth of these laws is that no one can have well-lit or missionary sex. In addition, according to this fake law, no one should tickle a vagina. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, vaginas have a funny bone somewhere.
- No Emergencies Please
Thank goodness this one is not true, because no one wants to witness a couple getting it on if they are injured. Now, on the other hand, if you are the person being escorted in the ambulance, then perhaps a little sex could help alleviate your pain.
Either way, the law is that no females can have sex in an ambulance in Utah. Where this law myth originated from, we are not sure, but it certainly must have been a man, right?
These laws are downright ridiculous. We can only hope that the people who made these laws were in a different state-of-mind at the time. Sex is something that should be enjoyable, no matter who or where you are.
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